how to: succeed at life
by jaime-lannisters
Summary: in which james is bad at wooing the one girl he likes, sirius is always worried about when left to his own devices because he's either plotting or brooding, remus is the most patient gryffindor yet frequently exasperated by his dormmates, peter is the humblest gryffindor around and their house has a betting pool on james and lily getting together. —life, according to the marauders.


**note from the author**: hello, there! so, just a note of clarification; i am aware that i have another fic floating around labelled as a marauders' era collection— that's really basically a collection for me to indulge my slight obsession with the characters of the order of the phoenix and other slightly minor characters of marauders' era. this collection, however, is marauders-centric and is based off a list of prompts from theJilyandLamesFanatic on hpfc. also, these are all set in the same universe. they may be out of order, chronologically speaking, but if the time-setting of each chapter really matters, i'll put it at the start of the chapter, promise!

whew. that's one long author's note. sorry. :3

**prompt**: stealing from the kitchens.

**dedicated to**: nic (symphonies of you) who's had to deal with my marauders' era obsession on a multitude of occasions.

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.

* * *

**the marauders**

_how to_: be a good friend

x

_in which james pines, sirius is sarcastic, remus wants to finish his damn essay and peter loves his friends._

* * *

It was a quiet night. Remus was studiously writing an essay for something, filling the air with the sound of his quill scratching the parchment. Sirius was lying on his bed, looking at his fingernails in a bored manner. James was looking at the door with a very lovelorn expression, no doubt imagining how outside the door led to a stairwell which led to a common room which led to another stairwell and another dorm, which held one Lily Evans. Peter was sitting on the floor, observing all of this.

"I'm hungry," he informed the room at large.

"That's great, Pete," Sirius said. "I'm really happy for you."

James was a little more obliging. "Righto, boys, we've got ourselves a Wormtail to feed," he declared, standing up as if to give a pep talk.

Sirius rolled onto his side and stared at the standing James and seated Peter. "Oh, joy," he sighed.

"Stop being sarcastic, Pads," James ordered, before shaking his head at the tableau before him. "And get up! Lazy mutt."

Sirius grumbled, pulling his middle finger at his best friend as he sat up on his bed and stretched out his legs. "All right," he sighed, standing up. A small smile played at his lips, letting the other Marauders know that he didn't actually mind, he was just being difficult for kicks. "C'mon, Moony," he said, beckoning their studious dormmate.

Remus hesitated, looking longingly at his essay, and then at his friends: James, with his resolute expression; Sirius, with a smirk that said he very well knew that Remus wanted to finish his essay and that he had no intention of helping him duck out of this food run; and Peter, with a hopeful expression on his face that almost masked the look in his eyes that expected to be disappointed.

It was Peter's look that did it. Remus took one look at the face of a boy used to being disappointed, sighed, and set his quill down in its inkwell.

"All right," he muttered. Sirius grinned, James smirked, and Peter beamed at Remus. Remus stood up and followed them all out the door.

James and Sirius were leading, holding the Map between them and peering at it intently. Remus fell into step beside Peter. The shorter boy bit his lip, and looked at his shaggy-haired friend.

"Hey, Remus?"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"Thanks," the mousy boy said, flushing slightly. "I know you wanted to finish your essay tonight. So... thank you."

Remus glanced at his friend. "And I know you're no hungrier than usual," he commented, smiling a little when Peter nearly fell over in shock. "It's all right," he continued, over the boy's stuttering, "because James was practically boring holes in the door and Sirius left to his own devices for too long isn't good for anyone. And, uh, I'd been working on that damn thing for the better part of three hours." It was Remus' turn to look sheepish and flush slightly. "So maybe I needed a break too. So thanks for being a good friend, Pete, and taking care of us."

They shared a smile, Remus enjoying the way Peter's cheeks flushed in pleasure and Peter approving of the way Remus looked healthier by simply getting out of their dorm.

"_Oi_, lovebirds!" Sirius hissed, grinning like a maniac. "Filch is on the warpath; do you want to get to the kitchens with all your limbs intact or not? Let's go."

Rolling their eyes at each other, the two quieter members of the Marauders hurried closer to the other two, before all four ducked and ran down a winding mass of corridors, secret passages and alleys, laughing breathlessly the whole way to the kitchens.

After much light-hearted bickering from James and Sirius — "Oi! Prongs! Hands off the painting, it's my turn to tick—" "Padfoot, are you serious right now?" "I'm always Sirius, and right now it's my turn to open the door!" — the four boys eventually fell into the kitchens, eyes lighting up at the familiar sight.

"Evening, Gibbet!" James greeted cheerily, beaming at a particular house elf.

Beside him, Sirius added, "looking good, Gibbet!" He was careful not to touch Gibbet. As much as he disliked his family's house elf, Kreacher, he had picked up that house elves often got flustered at being offered even the level of courtesy the Marauders always gave the Hogwarts elves, let _alone_ any friendly contact that suggested they were of equal status. As much as Sirius knew about the importance of equity — and of all the Marauders, he was most aware — the gestures indicating how he felt were not worth the level of distress it would cause the elves.

Remus nodded at Gibbet, and Peter waved.

"Masters!" the tiny elf squeaked. "Would you be liking anything?"

Smiling at the slightly odd speech pattern of the elves, James was about to speak before he was interrupted by Peter. "Do you have any cream éclairs?" he asked hesitantly.

The elves burst into a flurry of motion, whizzing around the kitchen and grasping at platters. "Excellent suggestion, Wormtail!" Sirius roared, beaming at the madness of the kitchen.

Almost instantly, there was an array of cream éclairs, slices of cake and all sorts of sweetness surrounding them. Peter managed to hold out for ten seconds — which could be attributed to pure shock at the sheer mass of food before him, not manners, Sirius later informed them — before grabbing an éclair in his pudgy fingers and wolfing it down. Sirius was already knees deep in elves and platters of cakes, and from the way Remus was moaning, you wouldn't think that it was a chocolate muffin attached to his mouth. James was chewing his muffin with all the refinement of a true pureblood — "your mum'd have been so proud, Jamesy!" Sirius crowed later — but managed to compromise that illusion when, with a mouth half full of baked goods, he thanked the elves loudly for their kindness and aid.

After their excursion, when they were settling into bed, James commented, "that was fun. Thanks for being hungry, Wormy."

Sirius made a strange yet gleeful noise that the other boys took as assent, and Remus nodded at Peter with a knowing look.

That night, Peter Pettigrew fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

**note from the author, take ii**: okay, they didn't really _steal_, but they did go to the kitchens and ate food! :) sirius took some cake for later, okay? ;)

anyway, yeah, that's the first. there are 77 prompts, and i may very well end up combining a few, but i do intend to use each prompt, so there will be more chapters for anyone interested. but just to get this out of the way now— i do not intend for there to be any character-bashing. not james, not peter, not lily, not amos diggory. there may be opinions expressed about characters by other characters (e.g. severus and the marauders) but i don't like actual authors bashing characters in fics. peter pettigrew was their friend, and i fully intend to write this with that in mind.

reviews would be über appreciated, especially as this is the first time I've really written the marauders as a cohesive unit, so feedback's always appreciated. even just a short sentence can make my day, be it compliment or critique. oh, and as always, i'd really appreciate it if you reviewed if you favourite. :)


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